


Tricky Love

by Hiver_Frost_Elf



Category: Batman: The Animated Series, The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Canon-Typical Violence, Child Abuse, Could Be Canon, Crack, Earth-3, Episode: Mad Love, Gen, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, James Jesse's A+ Parenting, James seemingly falling to his death, Teddy Bears, or however old Axel is abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-15
Updated: 2017-08-15
Packaged: 2018-12-15 19:03:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11812275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hiver_Frost_Elf/pseuds/Hiver_Frost_Elf
Summary: An adaptation of Mad Love starring the Tricksters.  Those who haven’t watched this particular episode of Batman: TAS better heed the tags, cuz it’s got triggers for days: gun triggers, grenade triggers, metaphorical triggers—fun, fun, fun ♪





	Tricky Love

**Author's Note:**

> [Toni](http://archiveofourown.org/users/tonia_barone/pseuds/tonia_barone) betaed this and provided the Spanish. Read his stuff, it's awesome.
> 
> It’s not my fault DC casts Mark Hamill as all of its lunatics; what else was I supposed to do upon hearing “May the floss be with you”? Plus, if ya think about it, Trickster and Joker are pretty much interchangeable; Trickster just doesn’t use Joker gas. I’ve had next to zero exposure to the comics and the older Flash shows, but when I was researching James’ relationship with Zoey Clark, I kept thinking to myself _Am I reading about Trickster and Prank or Joker and Harley???_ I forget the exact details, but I left feeling rather concerned for Prank’s welfare.
> 
> Also, since Batman’s lines would be wildly OOC for Barry or Wally, I’ve elected to pull Jay Garrick in for this fic. You read me right, folks, this takes place on Earth-3!
> 
> I haven’t had this much fun writing a fic in a while. Yeah, most of this is transcription rather than legit creative talent, but even those few sentences produced what I consider shining gems in the HFE humor gallery. HFE stands for Helluva Fun Evening this time :D

“Stupid, useless waste of time...” David Singh grumbled as he opened the door.

A sandy-haired man was washing his hands at the sink as the captain settled down into the dingy brown dentist chair.  His voice sounded soft yet contained abrasive undertones, “Have a seat, I’ll be right with you.”

Singh hated these checkups.  If they weren’t mandatory by both regulation and Rob, he wouldn’t be in this strangely dark office at all.  He hadn’t realized that he’d voiced his gripes aloud until the other man turned around and grinned.

“Come now, Captain, what in the miserable world is more beautiful than a nice, big smile?” James Jesse’s grin became an unrestrained cackle as he held up pliers and one of those annoying metal toothpicks.

Singh moved to bolt out of his seat only to be blocked by a pistol that shot rope which tied him to the chair.  Axel Walker blew on the smoking gun and gagged the captain, “Jump around like that and Doctor T won’t give you a lollipop♫”

Trickster Senior tsked at the seething cop, “My, my, this don’t look good at all.” Trickster Junior giggled when his elder pulled out a power drill. “Looks like we’ll have to operate!”

James was mere centimeters from giving Singh a lobotomy when Flash zipped in and threw down a set of fake chompers, “Easy hint, Jesse, you’re losing your edge.”

“Actually, the teeth were my idea—so’s this!” Axel winked as he crippled Flash with a coughing fit.  The boy smiled, proud of himself, when Flash hit the floor, “That’s a real gasser, huh, Daddy?”

James yanked him by two fistfuls of chocolate hair and growled, “I give the punchlines around here! Got it!?”

“Yes, sir,” Axel squeaked, wincing as James tugged him toward the exit.

Trickster Senior paused in the doorway to grin down at the Scarlet Speedster, “Well, Flashy, it’s been a hoot, as always; but I really must run.” He pushed Axel out of the way before tossing the do-gooders a parting gift: a grenade. “May the floss be with you♬”

Flash chucked it out the window and covered him just in time for their present to punch a hole in the wall.  Flash untied Singh, who used his first moment of freedom from the gag to groan, “I really hate these checkups...”

Meanwhile, in a warehouse left to rot by the now defunct Funnibone Shipping, James drawing triangles on his blueprints with an unrivaled fixation.  Axel crawled onto his desk and cleared his throat.  James didn’t even look up at him, “Play somewhere else; I’m busy.”

“C’mon, Dad, you’ve been hunched over your plans ever since we got home,” Axel poked him playfully in the shoulder. “Let’s go watch M—ahhh!” Papers fluttered as the man shoved the boy off.  James’ fingers tapped his blueprints as he looked down on them forlornly.

Every artist feels it at some point, and James was feeling it now.  They hadn’t pulled a great prank ever since the Tricksters’ First Ever Family Outing.  James was proud of their successes, but he derived more satisfaction from chaos on a grander scale.  It felt frustrating that his recent ideas pandered more towards marbles and firecrackers rather than bombs and rockets.

Axel tried to distract his father from his gloomy mood with a cute little teddy bear.  Trickster Senior paced the warehouse, “Flash was right; that setup was old corny.” Axel peeked at his latest blueprints; he thought they looked fun enough to try.  James kicked a crumbled one before returning to the desk, swept the rest away, and flipped through a notebook. “It’s time I capped off our feud with his ultimate humiliation... followed by his deliciously delirious death.”

Axel became thoughtfully quiet until a pragmatic approach popped into his head, “Why doncha just shoot ‘im?”

“Just shoot him???” James dropped his notes and backed Axel across the workspace. “Know this, my boy, the death of Flash must be nothing less than a masterpiece—the triumph of my sheer comic genius over his ridiculous cowl and powers!” Axel ducked when James’ acidic corsage dissolved the Flash-patterned dummy behind him.  Axel sighed relief when none of the dangerous liquid hit him, then whipped his gaze at his father when the man picked up a blueprint, “Well, hold the phone! The Death of 100 Smiles!  I’ll lure Flash to a secret lair, then—bang!” Axel narrowly dodged James’ careless punch. “Into the piranha tank!!!  The last thing he’ll see are those beautiful, hungry smiles as they rip him to—to...” James snapped his fingers when he recalled why he scrapped this plan, “Piranhas can’t smile.” James sat down on top step and deflated. “Nothing gets a giggle out of them...”

Axel snuck the teddy bear in front of James’ face and chirped with the high-pitched voice he projected onto it, “I know how to turn frowns upside-down!” James tossed him out of the warehouse so he could concentrate.  Axel slumped against a brick wall and vented at the fluffy toy in his lap, “That stupid Flash is always making Daddy mad!  If I get rid of that ruby roadrunner, no one’ll ever take Daddy away from me again!!!”

That year and a half in the asylum with no word from James was the loneliest of his life.  Hours on end of cheerfully disapproving strangers telling him he and his father were bad wrong broken left him deader inside each day.  He perked up when he found a teddy bear on his nightstand wearing a patchwork suit just like James’ from back in the day.  James broke him out the following day with helicopter fidget spinners, a coop’s worth of rubber chickens, and a bouncy castle.

Axel inquired on the ride to their nearest safehouse, “Daddy, what was your daddy like?”

“There was only one time I ever saw him really happy; he took me to the circus when I was seven.” James sighed nostalgically. “I still remember the clowns running around, dropping their pants.  My old man laughed so hard, I thought he’d bust a gut; so the very next night, I ran out to meet him with his Sunday pants around my ankles.” Axel’s excitement bubbled over as James related the climax. “I took a big pratfall and tore the crotch clean out of his pants!” Axel stopped laughing when the tale darkened. “And then he broke my nose.” James cheered him up with, “But hey, that’s the downside of comedy: you’re always taking shots from folks who just don’t get the joke."

Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na Tricksters!!!

Axel was sipping soda when Flash woke up groggy above a piranha tank trapped in phase-proof chains.  He should’ve suspected that this was a trick when that animatronic James Jesse gunned them down with blanks at the harbor!  Instead, he blacked out from a blow to the back of his head while he was protecting the younger Trickster.

“Where’s Jesse?”

“It’s just me, Flashykins♫” Axel stood on the table so that they were eye to eye. “I’m gonna show Daddy I can pull off one of his plans!” Axel crouched low to admire that aquatic beasts. “He could never get these fishies to smile, but then I had the bright idea to hang you upside down,” Axel hopped back up to his feet, “that way, to you, it’ll look like they’re smiling!” Axel leaned into Flash’s face. “Clever???”

“Brilliant,” said Flash.

Axel hopped off the table, “I enjoyed some of our games, but I want more time with Daddy, so bye-bye!” Axel’s hand paused halfway to the level when Flash chuckled.  Axel shivered, “Cut it out!  You’re being a creep!”

Flash got ahold of himself, “Jesse doesn’t love anyone except himself.  Wake up, Axel, he had you pegged for hired help as soon as you sent him that first letter.”

“That’s not... no,” Axel protested weakly before rage strengthened his resolve, “No!!!” Axel turned on his heels and folded his arms like a petulant child. “He told me things—secret things—nobody else knows!”

“Abusive father? Runaway mom???”

“Stop it! You’re trying to trick me!!!” Axel pressed his hands against his ears.

“He told one parole officer that his dad was only ever happy once: that time he took him to the ice show when he was seven.”

Tears trailed down Axel’s double diamond mask, “Circus. He said it was the circus.”

“He’s got a million of them, Axel.”

“You’re wrong!!!  Daddy does love me!  He does!  You’re the problem!” Axel lowered Flash towards the water inch by inch. “And now your death’s gonna make everything right!”

“He’ll never believe you did it,” countered.

“Sure he will,” Axel insisted.

“How’s Jesse gonna know I’m really gone?  All those fish will leave are scraps of bone and cloth; anyone can fake that.  He’ll never buy it.”

Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na Tricksters!!!

James was pacing the warehouse dismissing more miserably boring ideas when the phone rang, “What!?!  Axel? Where the hell have you been???” James tidied up the papers on his desk. “Flash, eh? Well, you don’t say—you have who tied up where!?!” And thus, the Prankmobile charged down the highway!

Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na Tricksters!!!

“Sucks to be you, smarty-Flash,” Axel prowled proudly towards his victim. “When I told Daddy what I was doing, he was so thrilled, he was speechless!”

“Aaaxelllllllll!!!” the doors burst open from the force of James’ roar alone.

“Hi, Daddy!” the boy skipped over to the man. “You’re just in time to see Flash—” The hero winced when James smacked Axel hard enough to send him flying across the room.

“Uno momento, por favor,” James swooped close to the tank looming over his son.

“Daddy, I don’t understand.  Don’t you wanna finally get rid of Flash?”

“Only if I do it, idiot!!!”

Axel grabbed the blueprints in a desperate attempt to appease him, “But it’s still your plan, see?  ‘Cept I hung Flash upside-down so he’d see their little frowns as little smiles.  Now it all works.”

“Except you had to explain it to me!” James ripped the blueprints out of the boy’s hands. “If you have to explain a joke, there is no joke!!!” James backed him towards the window. “You’ve forgotten one of the painful truths of comedy: you always take shots from folks who just don’t get the joke!”

Axel yelped when James pushed him out the window.  Landing on some garbage broke pretty much everything.  Axel whimpered, twitching helplessly, “My fault... I didn’t get the joke...”

“I really must apologize for my kid: no respect for tradition,” James tsked as he lowered Flash onto the table with a thud. “Let’s just pretend the whole thing never happened and do this some other time, okay?” James whistled on his way out before he reconsidered what a rare opportunity this was.  James turned Flash over and pulled out a gun, “You know what they say: a flash in the hand is worth two in the Speed Force.  I guess you’re going out on a laugh after all...”

Flash sent the bullet crashing through the glass by kicking him in the millisecond before he fired.  Water gushed out of the tank and flooded the room.  Flash hopped out of his chains while piranhas chomped James’ ass.

Flash chased after him on the roof and onto a train like a normal person while the Speed Force recharged within him.  James snapped towards him when Flash taunted, “He almost had me, you know.  Arms and legs chained, no powers, dizzy from blood rushing to my head...  I had no way out other than convincing him to call you.” _I’m sorry I did_ went unsaid. “Your massive ego would never allow anyone else the honor of killing me.  Though I have to admit, he came a lot closer than you ever did.”

James lunged forth at such a horrid accusation!  They exchanged blows after James tackled him until Flash finally felt lightning coursing through his veins again.  His final punch sent James flying into a smoke stack, screaming all the way down.

Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na Tricksters!!!

Axel frowned resolutely as his mummified body was wheeled into his cell in the asylum _Never again.  No more obsession... no more craziness... no more Trickster.  I finally see that slime for what he is: a murderous, manipulative, irredeemable_ Axel’s eyes widened with adoration when spotted his patchwork-suited teddy bear on his nightstand.  He cuddled with the fluffy critter, eagerly anticipating his father’s arrival.

The End!!!

**Author's Note:**

> Now if you'll excuse me, I must chase a lunatic across my roof because I'm a normal person who does normal people things ;D Thanks for taking time to read this ♫ enjoy what you do here and everywhere ♬


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